Saturday, February 6, 2010
There seems to be a lot of talk about Team Zombie/Team Unicorn lately. And though I'm Team Unicorn myself (raises umbrella to deflect hurled tomatoes from Team Zombie), it got me wondering: what would happen if a zombie and a unicorn had a fight to the death? And then of course, my over-creative writer brain(s!) wouldn't let it go, and before long, insanity was born.
So, for your entertainment (mostly my entertainment), I bring you ... the first Zombie/Unicorn deathmatch! May the best mythical creature win.
ROUND 1: 1 zombie vs. 1 unicorn. Fight!
Zombie shuffles out ("brains"). Sees unicorn. Shuffles forward ("BRAINS!").
Unicorn stabs zombie through the head with horn. Zombie's brain explodes from the magical unicorn rainbow light.
Zombie dies. (Again)
Round 1 to unicorn.
Round 2: 3 zombies vs. 1 unicorn. Fight!
Zombies shuffle out. ("Brains!")
Zombies shamble up to unicorn. Unicorn stabs one zombie through the head and kicks another in the skull with back hooves. Two zombies die, but one latches on and tears off a unicorn ear. Unicorn rears up and crushes zombie's head with front hooves.
Zombies die. (One was a zombie mime.)
Round 2 to unicorn.
Round 3: Zombie horde vs. unicorn. Fight!
Zombie horde charges unicorn ("Brains! Brains! Brains!")
Unicorn disappears under massive zombie horde.
Round 3 to zombies.
So, as you can see, one unicorn can hold out against one or two zombies, but as we know, zombies rarely travel alone. Unfortunately, the question of which creature rules is still rather nebulous. Zombie or unicorn? Well, why does it have to be one or the other? Can't we all get along? Can't we find some common ground ...?
Then again ....